20 Lessons I Learned Throughout My Twenties

Bye 20’s! In many ways, I am glad about this because of the lessons that I learned in this decade. Financial freedom does make a huge difference in the way I view things and accept situations involving me. In the note of spreading love and knowledge I have listed 20 important points for self care and self sustainable.

Self Care 

Beyond that sheet mask and lovely smelling candles kinda evening, I realised much more later self care can practice in allocating physical activities, forming boundaries for social media, spiritual time and emotional reset time. 

Healthy Food is Not That Expensive 

Planning the weekly or monthly groceries for meal prep will definitely help to plan a proper meal. At the beginning the expenditure seems high due to the quantity of each ingredient but think a pack of pasta can cook for a few meals. 

  • Easy way to start is by packing snacks like fruits, homemade roasted nuts or grains and boiled eggs.
  • Tidy up the refrigerator according the lifespan of each raw ingredient will reduce the food waste  

Saving Cash is Not Difficult 

Saving money is directly influenced by small-small insignificant choices such as shopping habits, eliminating waste, taking public transport and focusing on homemade choices which require a little planning ahead. There are a number of mobile apps to monitor and track a budget suitable for needs. Or else, you can simply start with small changes in lifestyle as mentioned above. Avoid making changes altogether because it can easily feel like a burden and commitment, instead start small with well-thought-out budgeting  alternatives. If you’re serious about gathering cash quickly, consider putting a temporary stop to dining out, visiting the movie theater, and grabbing drinks with friends. Saving is cash for yourself! (don’t feel burned out by this).

Be Interested to Be Interesting

Read about everything and anything! A person having a good knowledge can easily adjust in the people of different communities if he has a prior knowledge about their culture and region. Also interaction with different people becomes really easy and enjoyable when you have proper knowledge about them.

The Difference Between Need and Want 

Social media can be the devil when deciding whether something is ‘a need’ or ‘a want’. A need is something necessary to survive. Pay up that ranges from bills, debt, tax and rent right pay cheque cleared. Allocate saving 15 to 20 % from the salary (future self thank you).

Sleep is Priority 

Go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time everyday even on the weekends. If you cannot afford expensive skin care or supplements then practice this opinion, well rested skin with a rested mind will allow you to look like a million bucks!

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

Deliver a message how you like to receive it! Learn how to communicate with every stage of people around us. This soft skill will add up to our interpersonal skills. This video will help you  to polish up

Have a Basic Skin Routine and Be Consistency 

Price of skin care doesn’t carry the value of the products. Consistency is very important despite the price of the skincare. Spend the time to do the research on the ingredients or even on the latest products to compare and contrast the price along with the benefits. Listed few youtube channel to increase the knowledge about skin care 


Fallen Friendship is a Common Livelihood (CAN’T FORCE FRIENDSHIPS) 

Let go if it doesn’t make sense or toxic friendship because your time is precious. Stop trying so desperately to hold on to things even when they’ve served us beyond their purpose. Life needs to go on and too short to be anything but happy. We either grow with, or grow apart from people, and if it doesn’t feel right, it might be best to let it go.

College Might Not Have Been Worth It

Tertiary education shouldn’t be a defining factor for any individual. Education doesn’t guarantee a job or even a great salary. Most of us have degrees that either we will never use or we will realise we are no longer interested in the field we chose.

You Continue to Compare Yourself with Others

I’ve been in this sinkhole a few times. You compare yourself to your peers and think some of them have everything figured out. There will be a phase everyone appears to have figured things out, the reality is they are probably just as scared as you.

It’s Okay to Try New Things

You can follow your desired job or even passion without thinking accountability of that decision. Your 20s is the perfect time to take risks. Travel the world. Learn something new. Be more vulnerable. 

Your Parents are People Too

Often catch me being so hard on my parents for the poor choices. The more I realise that my parents have their own trauma and regrets that shape them the way they think. I am actively trying my best to nurture my soul with good thoughts that everyone is  trying to do best to cope up with the world. 

Size Doesn’t Change Anything 

Your body size does not influence how people treat you (repeat this mantra!). 

Don’t have losing weight goals but do have healthy goals. Educate about body type, food choices, exercise type that suits you and even flattering fashion styles. 

Physical Health is Separate Entity from Mental Health 

Likewise physical health, mental health requires work in a consistent manner to feel the improvement. Expressing your feelings in the form of journaling or even talking to people around to get out from the chest will work as well. Keep trying working on yourself to improve slowly but surely. Wise friend of mine once quoted this:

“Miracle doesn’t work overnight like disappearing  depression. Therefore, wake up everyday to have the courage to change it.” 

Sharleen Cassandra

Busy Collecting Likes and Shares on Social Media 

Social Media is becoming a coping mechanism for many to distract from actual problems. They get addicted to the usage of social media. This addiction does bring other problems. This addiction does bring other problems such as romantic partners might get the wrong idea of this addiction or even using social media can harm job stability and employment prospects. The addition of social media cuts off the people from society and from the real world. 

It’s Not About Collecting Things, It’s About Creating Beautiful Memories

The best kinda memories that online validation does not need to have a good time are the best days. Great memories usually involve other people. New people, old places. Or old people, new routines. Or go on a different hike every week, but with the same friend

*back story about my difficult times when I immerse myself in hikes with one particular group of friends. It gave me a sense of purpose to breathe again, I was created to see all this beautiful mountain and views to appreciate life. 

Relationship Doesn’t Define You but Compliment You 

There is no such thing as saving this relationship! Save yourself! You didn’t instantly get together the moment you were born. Before you were even dating, you did things on your own. You hung out with friends, you competed in a marathon, you watched movies alone and dined out alone. In other words, you had your own life, and it didn’t just end the moment you became a couple. You’re really in control of how your relationship goes, not the other way around.

You’re Not Alone 

Most part of my teens and early 20’s, I felt overwhelmed by loneliness and lack sense belonging  in my own family or even with some group of friends. Having the wrong group will bring this kinda feeling adunbandly. When it comes to family, tell them that what are the things that bother you like forgetting your birthday or even graduation isn’t okay. Communicate with them your likes and dislikes to save up the bond. 

You are a Complex, Self-Contradicting, Ever-Evolving Individual

To my old self,  

It wasn’t easy to fake a smile and continue with your life while fooling everyone that everything’s fine. There were times when you’re about to give up yet you convinced yourself to keep going.

Thank you for not letting your inner demons overpower your whole being. It was a tough fight yet you chose to endure all the pain that has gone your way. You’ve kept all the silent screams to yourself even though you’re about to explode.

I know that dark days will be gone and you’ll be rewarded with the peace of mind that you’ve been wanting to achieve. It might be hard to have that for now, but I will try my best to give it to you. 

You’ve come a long way and seeing how much you’ve grown today, I can’t help but be proud of what you’ve become. Even if  everything and everyone might fail you but you have yourself no matter what !

Present self 

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