The truth is – nothing is as challenging as fixing a broken trust. Betrayal can cause unimaginable pain mentally & physically. It will leave a deep scar in your heart. Furthermore, betrayal by your partner makes you feel that your partner doesn’t value your relationship or you as a person; and all your efforts for that relationship feel wasted. To go through the feeling of betrayed can put you in trauma in many ways:
- Getting cheated again
- Getting hurt
- Taken for granted
- More lies
Before discussing further about rebuilding trust, let’s understand the importance of trust. Why do you need the ‘trust’ in a relationship:
- You will feel 100% committed to the relationship and your partner
- You feel safe in that relationship without fear of getting cheated
- Intimate relationship will get better
- Feel more secured to be in that relationship
- Will respect each other better
- You both can be transparent about everything, including how you both feel in that relationship
- You will listen and share better
If you value your love towards your partner and if you think your relationship and your partner deserves a second chance, here are some good points to begin to rebuild the trust.
Communicate: Over and Over
The first thing you and your partner should do is to sit and discuss the damage done to this relationship. This is a tiring process to talk about the same thing over and over. Undoubtedly, it will be painful and make both of you uncomfortable. But this is the key step to rebuilding truth and relationship. Discuss how you feel.
- How do you feel about this whole betrayal thing
- Why does it hurt you so bad
- What do you need to start rebuilding the trust
- Ask for their help
But never forget to listen to their side of the story. See if they truly feel sorry and regretful about this whole situation or are they trying to be defensive and unwilling to accept their betrayal. This will give you an idea of giving them a second chance or not.
Build Your Self Esteem
Without a doubt, this is very important in order to move forward. Fix yourself before fixing your relationship. You need to believe in yourself, you need to believe you are worthy for this relationship.
Let it Go
Once you sit and discuss with your partner, try to let the past go. It is the most difficult thing to do, i must say. But keep trying. It is good for your own mental health. Even so, you constantly want to cross-check everything your partner says if there are any more lies. It is hard to let it go after betrayal, especially if you’re worried about getting cheated again.
But once you decide to give a second chance to your partner, and you are in the process of rebuilding the trust. You should slowly let things go. It will be in your mind somewhere, but as long as you don’t constantly remind yourself about the whole betrayal.
Seek for Expert’s Help
If this whole betrayal bothers you too much and affects your mental health, it is best that you both seek expert’s help. There are wide range counselling centres all over the world. They will make you understand the whole situation better and make you believe ‘it is okay to forgive someone and give them a second chance’. Having said this, you both must be willing to go for a counselling whole heartedly.
Read series of Trust & Relationship
– Trust is the Foundation of Every Relationship
– How to Rebuild the Trust in a Relationship
– Can We Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
– Let Go Your Partner’s Sexual Past History
– Insecurity Can Cause Breakup in a Relationship
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